I met the love of my life when I was 19 and we have been together ever since.
He left a large group of people and came straight for me. His eyes were piercing. His embrace was strong. I was hooked from our very first meeting.
We’ve spent every day together since that first meeting. At first I didn’t know how to be around him. What should I say? Who should I be? I was nervous but excited. On some of our dates together I would try to say all the right things. I would try to be the perfect woman for him. I took lots of time to make myself beautiful. I would think and re-think about what things I would like to say to him. I tried to hide how fast I was falling for him. Other people around me said they knew him but none of them looked at him like I did. None of them knew how fast my heart beat when he came around. They simply couldn’t know him like I did. What I had with him was special.
When I wasn’t directly in his midst I was constantly thinking about him, talking about him. As time passed many of my friends left me because they could not understand this love affair I had entered in to. Many people were confused. Very few cheered me on. They didn’t see him the way I did. He would walk into the room and it was like I was the only person he saw. He would wrap his arms around me and make me feel more love and comfort in one second than I had felt in a lifetime. When he walked out of the room it was as if his very spirit lingered around me like a blanket. I was totally captured, completely obsessed. He made everything beautiful. I began opening up and telling him everything about myself. As our intimacy grew I shared my deepest darkest secrets and my most far-fetched dreams. He would stare into my eyes with such encouragement and hope always reassuring me that all my dreams were possible. He never held my past against me but instead would hold my hand and tell me how beautiful I was becoming. He spoke love to me in more than words. His gaze would wash over me like the ocean tide; swallowing me up in wonder; romancing me.
When I was with him nothing else mattered. I found myself falling in love with people more because of his influence. I started seeing them as he saw them. I began falling in love with the beauty of creation. Curiosity filled my mind. It was as if I could see clearly for the first time. Every drop of rain spoke love into my heart. Every breeze that swept across my cheek caressed my soul with peace. Every mountain top made me feel small and safe. In every tree I saw his strength. In every sunset I saw his artistry. In every valley I saw his depth. In every ocean I saw his vastness. In every animal I saw his joy and compassion. In every child I saw his purity. In every person I saw his creativity and beauty. In every smile I saw his face. Our relationship became so intense that he was everywhere I looked; all I could see was him.
But at times I have hurt him. I have recklessly walked away from my love. I have screamed at him, turned my back to him, and said hurtful things. But no matter what, he has never left me. I call him and he runs to me. He forgives me every time and our love grows deeper. It has been five years since we met and I feel more in love with him now than I have ever before. He shares his innermost thoughts with me. He shares his mystery with me. Yet still, there is so much about him I do not know. The unknown about him only makes me that much more desperate to be with him, only makes me want him more. I long for him every day. He loves every inch, every freckle and every imperfection of who I am yet makes me want to be better. He brings the purest me out into the light. He wipes every tear from my eye. He finishes my sentences and I finish his. How can two beings be more perfect for each other? It was as if I was made just for him. Even as I write this, although he does not stand before me at this very minute, his presence is so thick and tangible around me I can hardly breathe. The very thought of him devastates my soul and ravishes my heart.
No longer do I feel to be perfect in front of him. He loves me just the way I am. I come to him about everything. We take walks together every day and lavish each other with joy. I am more comfortable with him than anyone else in the world, yet he is ever full of surprises. He tells me that he is jealous for me. He wants all of my affection and does not want me to share it with any other. Oh, how I love the way he loves. He wakes me up in the morning, takes my hand and beckons me to come away with him. Yet he knows this world creates obligations and obstacles to our being alone all the time so he wrote me a book about his love for me that I take everywhere I go. I open it and read it and it is as if his breath itself fills my lungs. My anticipation heightens for the moment I will be with him again. If only the hours in my day might go by faster so that I can sit with him. He is my safe place, my shelter. He is my best friend and my confidant; the lover of my soul and guardian of my heart. He convicts me and purifies my thoughts, every day making me a more beautiful woman. He speaks life and destiny over me. He always reminds me who I truly am, no matter what others may say about me. Nothing is forced in our relationship. Being together is as natural as breathing. We live in our own little world together. We dance together. He sings to me. We laugh and joke with one another. There is an air about him of total devotion. It does not have to be said but I know he would do absolutely anything for me, even lay down his own life. He is perfect. With him I am completely free. And nothing can keep us apart; nothing in this world or beyond this world. Only I have the power to separate myself from him and if I do so my whole body aches to be with him again. This love is so intense. It is so deep. I am his bride and he is my bride groom. He is mine and I am his.
He is by my side in every difficult moment, every loss, and every hurt. He picks me up and dusts me off when I make mistakes. He shares in triumphs and laughs at my jokes. He stands in front of me, holds my arms out and looks deep into soul. Without saying a word he restores me; he envelopes me in goodness. He quiets my soul. He stands over me as my protector yet invites me into his arms in intimacy. He touches the small of my back and leads me along the path of life always reminding me of my grace and poise. I am a lady before him. With him I fully embrace my femininity and am glad to be led by such strength, courage and wisdom. He leads me on adventures always showing me things I’ve never seen before. He never flatters and never says what he does not mean. His words sink into my soul. I love listening to him. His voice is as silk and his words as poetry. His eyes shine like the sun. His shoulders broad like the horizon. His stride is confident but smooth. Oh this love…this love that I have found. He tells me that he was seeking me even before we met. He always knew we were meant to be. I always knew we would find each other. Sometimes I wonder how I lived such a long time without him. The thought of being without him now is too much to bear. My soul simply cannot take the idea. My very being would crumble and be naught.
These days my words are few around him. Mostly I can hardly speak when we are together. I simply sit and enjoy him. We enjoy each other. I try to tell everyone around me about him. Some will stay and listen to my stories and others think I am crazy. Lucky for me he likes my brand of crazy. I feel sad for people who do not share in a love like mine. Some people approach me and tell me there is something about me that is…just…well…different. I tell them, “Well, you see, I am in love. Would you like to meet him?” I just love introducing people to him.
His name is Jesus.